The Ravenous Race
by Once in a blue moon
Summary: This is takes place after the 8th book. We started to write it before we knew what the 9th book would be about. Enjoy! Violet, Klaus, and Sunny's miserable adventures at the race tracks.
1. Define Unfortunate

A/N: Finally stopped being lazy and edited the Baudelaire's last name spelling, which I screwed up in this first chapter. *hits herself over the head and walks away muttering something about VFD* Placed and written before Carnivorous Carnival.  
  
If you have ever looked up the word "Unfortunate" in a dictionary, you will find that there is a picture of Beatrice and I on the night of her death. It was "Unfortunate" that I was there. It was "Unfortunate" that she died... well, was murdered. It is "Unfortunate" that I have the sad job of telling this woeful story. It would also be "Unfortunate" for you to pick up this book on a bright sunny day (Something I haven't seen in a while) and think, "My, what an interesting book!" It would also be "Unfortunate" for you to continue reading it, and have the Baudelaires' sad, sad life, ruin your sunny day.  
  
But if you looked up the word "Terrible" you would find these books that I have written. You would find a picture of the Baudelaires. If you looked under "Terrible" there may also be many other things such as being chained in a chair that is locked in a sewer, with rats gnawing at your feet until you finished your time for snitching paper and ink to write this sad tale. You may also find burnt waffles and broken windows, but all these do not compare to the Baudelaires "Terrible" life after the "Terrible" fire, in which their parents died.  
  
But if by chance you were to look up the word "AUGHHH!!!", you would find the three Baudelaires curled up in the trunk of Olaf's car, the man that had followed them wherever they went. Broken wine bottles were scraping their legs, and, from what they could see from the light coming in through the bullet holes, there were eyes. Eyes were plastered all over the walls of the trunk. They seemed to be watching the Baudelaires. This was how their whole life, since the terrible fire that destroyed their home and killed their parents, seemed. Being stuck in the worst places with people always watching. The car bounced as it went over some potholes and the eldest Baudelaires hit her head.  
  
"Oww!" Violet whispered as quietly as she could so that Olaf and his theater groupe couldn't hear her. She rubbed her head.  
  
You might find it pleasant to take a nice hot bath instead of continuing to read this book. Maybe you should go eat corn muffins. But I strongly advise you NOT TO cONTiNue TO read This bOOk. NOw There are many reasONs why aN auThOr mighT capiTilize every N, O, aNd T iN Their bOOk. They mighT have fiNally gaiNed a TON, sOmeThiNg They have waNTed TO dO since They were liTTle, Or maybe They jusT really like capiTilizing leTTers. BuT The reasON I'm dOing This is TO Tell yOu NOT TO read This bOOk. Besides ruiNiNg yOur suNNy day, iT wOuld make yOu waNT TO jump Off The nearesT TOwer, like The eldesT Baudelaire was almOsT fOrced TO dO. I musT geT ON wiTh Telling This dreadful tale, a wOrd ThaT here meaNs iT wOuld be mOre fuN TO play wiTh a gOrilla afTer shampOOiNg with baNaNas, sO This is my lasT warNiNg TO ThrOw This iN The garbage caN, aNd ruN away as fasT as pOssible iN The OppOsiTe direcTiON, aNd enjOy The suNNy day.  
  
"Stop elbowing me!" ordered Klaus quietly.  
  
"Whadgabosa!" Which means something like, "But you're sitting on me, Klaus!" Sunny squealed back impatiently.  
  
"Will you both stop bickering?!" a word that here means, fighting incessantly, Violet said while 'shushing' them.  
  
The good-hearted brother soon replied after realizing that he was grumpy, "I'm sorry that I yelled at you Sunny. I'm just grumpy, I guess." Klaus gave his sister a hug.  
  
"Amunesqoas," which means something like, "It's OK. I'm sorry that I was grumpy back." She nibbled his hand affectionately.  
  
"And I'm sorry that I had the crummy idea to get in this trunk," Violet said to herself.  
  
They all sat in silence while they pondered, a word that here means thought in the dark of the car, about what had happened to them over the past year. Their parents had died in a fire, they had been moved from house to house to shack ever since Olaf had decided he wanted their money, and they had been stuck in the worst situations. It was good that they had decided to sit in silence or else they wouldn't have heard the car stop.  
  
Then someone spoke in a high snotty voice, "Oh dear, we seemed to have run out of gas. How annoying! Someone deal with this. I'm going to have a cucumber." It was Esmè. Now munching on cucumbers was "in" instead of drinking aquatic martinis.  
  
They heard her beginning to nibble the cucumber. Then a scratchy voice that had haunted them for so long spoke. "Get my bag out of the back of the car. It has money for gas." It was Olaf. Suddenly the Blaudiars realized that they were sitting in the trunk of the car!  
  
A few tense seconds passed as they heard one of Olaf's assistants get out his or her keys.  
  
"Wait!" They heard Esmè's voice say. For the second time in their life they were glad to hear it. The first time was when she pushed them down the elevator shaft, because when they heard her voice they had known that they had survived the fall. "I don't want you to use smelly money! It's been sitting back there with your dirty clothing! What will people think if the 8th most important person in the city uses smelly money!?"  
  
The Baudelaire children, to their relief, heard the jingle of the keys as they were put back into someone's pocket. 


	2. The Race

A/N: Sorry about this being so short. I have to study for a test. R/R!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
An analogy is something that people use when they're trying to compare two completely different things to each other. These do not often make any sense. I've looked at the analogy of my life to a jug of white cranberry juice for hours on end, and I still haven't found any similarities, a word that here means 'Things that have to do with each other, unlike my life compared to a jug of white cranberry juice'. For example, I could say Beatrice was like a butterfly, beautiful, but with a short life span. Or I could say my life is like delicious buttered toast, an analogy that I understand, that keeps falling onto the floor --- butter-side down.  
  
Well, an analogy of the Baudelaires' new life would be something like this:  
  
The Baudelaires' lives were like a racetrack. Every time they could see the finish line, a nasty rock would trip them. Obviously the rock is all the bad things that happen to them. The starting line is like the start of each new place they go to and all the new people they meet. You could also say their lives are like racetracks with no finish lines at all. Just running, running, around and around, away from Olaf, but he has longer legs and gains on them, so in his clutches again, safe, not safe. A vicious never - ending circle. And V.F.D. is the finish line that is no where in sight. The big question mark that has been looming over their heads ever since the Quagmire Triplets notebooks had been ruined, and their friends had floated away in a balloon - like structure.  
  
But this analogy was about to come true. After Olaf and his troupe got gas and started to drive the Baudelaire siblings heard a voice that sounded neither like a man nor a woman's say, "Hey, Boss, we've only got ten bucks left!"  
  
"That's impossible," Olaf's scratchy voice replied, "we just stole money a few weeks ago! There was nothing to spend it on at that half finished hospital!"  
  
"Remember, we had to rent the auditorium," a voice that sounded chainsaws being run together chimed in.  
  
"I thought I told you to knock out the person you rent it from with a board so we wouldn't have to pay!"  
  
"But Boss..."  
  
"There's no excuse!" Esmè said in her high, snotty voice, "The 8th most important person in the city's boyfriend told you to do something and you didn't! He shouldn't get any pay this week!" She told Olaf.  
  
Esmè had been downgraded to the 8th most important person from the 6th because she left the "IN" auction in a very out truck.  
  
"You're right my sugar plum. But I know how we can get our money back..." The Baudelaire children could almost see his shinny, shinny eyes glowing with the thought of another evil plan.  
  
Olaf turned the steering wheel sharply to the left, and Sunny, Klaus, and Violet rolled around in the back, scrapping themselves even more on the wine bottles.  
  
"You're brilliant, darling!" Esmè squealed. The children then heard the sickening sound of her kissing Olaf. "Gambling at the races is a perfect way to win money! Especially if we cheat!" 


	3. Lost Puppies

Chapter 3  
  
The car screeched to a stop after it had speeded past the tollbooth. Olaf hastily parked the car in an illegal space and opened his door. From what the Baudelaires could hear from their oh so comfortable seats, the entire troupe was going gambling.  
  
"You, nasty things, can use your own salary to gamble. You can thank your fellow companions for that..."  
  
The trunk flew open and the children were sitting there looking very vulnerable. Olaf's shiny, shiny eyes glowed and a sickening smile spread across his face.  
  
"Galphay!" Sunny cried. Klaus and Violet didn't need to translate what Sunny had shouted they both knew she meant 'RUN!'. And they did without further ado.  
  
"After them, you blundering fools!" Olaf cried, as his troupe stood gawking at the receding figures of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny.  
  
After about 15 minutes of frantic running, the Baudelaires found a hiding spot in an empty "races announcement" room. But footsteps were coming down the hallway and the children quickly squeezed themselves into a small closet and shut the door. Once again they were in a small, dark, enclosed place. In what little room she had, Violet tied up her hair in a ribbon. Her siblings smiled at this, knowing that her mind was going to work. She would figure out a way to stay out of sight and get them a home. Her elbow accidentally hit Klaus in the eye, and she was about to apologize when the door to the announcement room opened with a squeak.  
  
There was some hushed talking and some shuffling feet. It sounded like three or four people were in the room, and Klaus had a terrible feeling of who they might be. "All right then. Agreed." Two of the parties (not masked parties or Halloween parties, in this particular situation, although I do like bobbing for apples...) seemed to have come to an agreement. "Here, you can make the announcement."  
  
The loud speaker crackled loudly before a loud 'beep' issued from it. A high pitched voice that could be none other that Esmè's said, "We've lost our three little children," at this point she issued a loud fake sob and small 'there, there's were heard. She then continued, "They come to the names Klaus, Sunny, and Violet. Thank you." Another fake sob was emitted and the loud speaker shut off with a crackle.  
  
After the Baudilaires were sure nobody was in the office, they sneaked outside again. Cries of 'Violet', 'Klaus', and 'Sunny' were heard all through the grounds (obviously by some greedy gamblers hoping for a reward.). Some high pitched whistles even reverberated through the air, as though the poor Baudelaires were lost dogs. While, at the moment, they felt very lost and confused, they certainly didn't have the tail, barks, and tongues required for being dogs (although they did have tongues of some sort). But Sunny also felt a hand on her sholder. She shrieked, and the three Bauldiares spun around, all became very dizzy, fell over, and were surprised at the person that helped them up off the ground.  
  
A/N: So who do you think the mystery person is? Well, guess! Go ahead, guess! Oh and sorry about it being so short... don't have much time now that school's started. 


	4. Valerie's Food and Dairies

Chapter 4  
  
A/N: Although Book the Ninth has come out, I enjoy this little ficcy, as I hope you do too, and will continue writing it (Though not as franticly as 'Mr. Snicket'). I hope you all are enjoying this and will leave reviews *hint, HINT*. For those of you who feel like writing a flame, I suggest you go read my friend's story "Flamer's Field Guide". And on to the story!  
  
Oh, yeah... Disclaimer: I haven't put a disclaimer in the other chapters, so to make up for it and put one now. "Mr. Snicket" owns all the lovely little characters, though I expect he wishes he didn't. I own the little plot I've got going (It's MINE! All MINE!) Any questions? Email me! Ah, yes... THE STORY!  
  
Chapter 4... again  
  
"Mr...," Violet began, but lost her voice.  
  
"Sir...," Klaus tried, but failed.  
  
"Snicket!" Sunny finally blurted out, a word which here means exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, it is I, Jacques Snicket," the man said, smiling sadly at the Baudilaires hope-filled faces, "and I am sorry to have not found you sooner, but Olaf obviously has better sources than I."  
  
"That doesn't matter! You're here now!" Klaus replied excitedly.  
  
"Oh, I wish it didn't matter, my little Baudilaires. But it matters oh, so much more than you realize," Jauques countered sadly.  
  
"How is it that you are alive, Mr. Snicket?" Violet asked quietly. "We thought you had been murdered by Count Olaf."  
  
"A V.F.D. disguise titled 'He looks quite dead to me!' certainly helped there!" Jacques said, a little happier, "Count Olaf didn't murder me, although I thought he would have remembered that little disguise. It got us out of quite a lot of trouble at one time."  
  
"Us?" Sunny questioned.  
  
"Yes, Sunny, us. But now is not the time to explain. We must get you somewhere safe, and soon. I do not know where yet, but I'll find you somewhere cosseted. That means safe," Jacques finished. "Follow me."  
  
And off they went. Jacques brought the orphans somewhere safe and cosseted, and he went out and captured Olaf. Olaf was put in prison for a long, long time, along with all his assistants. Violet became of age, used the fortune to build a new mansion, and bought lots of books to read, things to bite, and wires to tinker with. Jacques stayed with them as their legal guardian, they found out V.F.D. stood for Vanilla Fingers Dessert, and they lived happily ever after, never again bothered with fires.  
  
Oh, how I wish that last paragraph was completely factual, a word which here means 'spot on', but, alas, it is not. The only sentence that is 'spot on' is "And off they went." Because off they did go, into more destruction and woe. Off they went, into the jeopardy of their lives. But not the game show Jeopardy. There would be no money risked, only their lives. There would be no smiling host and expectant crowd, only Count Olaf and a jeering mob. Yes, the Baudilaires went off, into more terror than they had ever seen before.  
  
*  
  
Jacques led them through the crowd of racers, gamblers, and ambidextrous people, carefully avoiding anyone who looked like trouble. It is obvious that this phrase, "Someone looks like trouble", is often used for people who give the impression that they will be troublesome and forgetful, sometimes forgetting a vital object when you are forced to evacuate very quickly from an old hide-out, for example. K, this has nothing to do with you. When someone looks like trouble, you want to stay out of their way and run as quickly as you can in the other direction. If you don't, the results tend to be bad, and often you get mixed up with sugar bowls and top hats. But that is a different story, and quite a scary one, that I don't wish to tell right now.  
  
Once the small crew had ventured through the noisy, a word which here means tumultuous, crowd, they came to a quickie mart in the center of the races' stadium. I don't know why the quickie mart was there, do you? After years of research I have found nothing but a charred rubber ducky and a pin that says "We'll make you sm". The pin obviously used to say "We'll make you smell," but some think it said, "smile". Although these disputes continue, there are no disputes over what Jacques said as he and the Baudelaires neared the shop, which is most unfortunate. These words are so sad that, if I had a secretary, I would have her type the words instead. Regrettably, I have no secretary to my name, and must type the words myself.  
  
"Ah, what an interesting coincidence! V.F.D.! Valerie's Food and Dairies. It's one of those quaint little Mom and Pop stores. I'm sure you'll be safe here," Jacques concluded with these fateful words of trust.  
  
The Baudelaires smiled weakly at Jacques, and Klaus spoke, "Thank you for all your kindness, Mr. Snicket."  
  
"Yes, we're very grateful," Violet said just as sadly. Their lives had taken a downward tilt ever since the fire, and they weren't very hopeful about anything.  
  
"Hopeless," Sunny moaned.  
  
"Don't look so down, Baudelaires! I was good friend with your mother and father. I'll tell you everything you want to know. But now I must part company with you. I shall try to get in contact with Mr. Poe about a proper home for you. Don't stray from this place. The world is quiet here," and Jacques kissed each of their heads, and walked away.  
  
"Oh dear," Violet mumbled to herself. Then she shook her head and thought about her responsibility to her siblings. She could not let them down now. "Let's go in the store. We don't want to be spotted by Olaf." So Violet, Klaus, and Sunny walked into the store, and away from the place where they were being secretly spied on. But, by a strange stroke of luck, their spy was not an evil Olaf associate, but in the end, she turns out to be just as worse.  
  
A/N: Whew! I haven't written this story in a while! Been focusing on my other story (Harry Potter and the Alliances - go read it!) for a while. Hope you liked this chapter and review! ~Once in a Blue Moon 


End file.
